splendorofmorgan: why won't my paper write itself?
GNteMoon: it's mean
splendorofmorgan: it's totally mean
splendorofmorgan: it's hurting my feelings
GNteMoon: what a jerk
GNteMoon: I'm sorry
GNteMoon: You should really talk to it
GNteMoon: And let it know that it's hurting your feelings
splendorofmorgan: i try, but it just ignores me! i don't know what else to do.
splendorofmorgan: oh no it didn't! it just told me i'm nagging it.
GNteMoon: It's not your fault
GNteMoon: Maybe it needs some time apart?
splendorofmorgan: i'm just afraid if we do that we'll never get back together.
splendorofmorgan: that's a scary thought.
GNteMoon: Okay. So maybe you could just be very gentle with it
GNteMoon: And rub its feet for a minute
GNteMoon: And then ease into a talk
GNteMoon: These things are so complicated
GNteMoon: You could also take my favored approach and kick it in the shins and make it cry
splendorofmorgan: here's what i'm going to say: "Paper, we need to talk. I know we've been going through a rough period, but I really feel that if we get things out in the open, we'll both feel a lot better. Now, I just don't understand why you can't finish yourself. You're perfectly capable."
GNteMoon: That sounds reasonable
splendorofmorgan: ok, here i go.
splendorofmorgan: wish me luck.
GNteMoon: good luck